This is a story from when I was 18 and a senior at Haughton High School in Louisiana. It’s pretty funny looking back on it now, so enjoy!
One day I was sitting in my living room and saw an ad on TV about a dating service. Remember this was in 1996, so this was pre-online dating! I was intrigued, so I wrote down the phone number and called then up. They set up an appointment for me the next day and I was pretty excited! I had never been to a dating service and wondered what it would be like having someone else hook me up with a girl so I didn’t have to do all the work! Would they match me up with my dream woman? The time came for the appointment and I followed the directions to an office building in west Shreveport. As I stepped in the door, I was told to have a seat and offered a Dr. Pepper. Finally, someone came in and directed me to a room. I filled out a personal information sheet and a couple of other personality profile forms and waited for a while.
The door finally opened and a business-like woman sat down in the seat opposite me. She went over all the information I had filled out and told me in her French accent, “Ve don’t get zat many peopel like you around here. You are young!” she assessed me as if I were a risky business prospect. Maybe I was!
We talked for about 20 minutes and she asked me what the problem was that I had with meeting girls. Was this a dating service or was I secretly meeting my blind date on Sally Jesse? I thought. I simply said that I just hadn’t met the right girl and thought that coming to a dating service would open up a good opportunity. After showing me the prices of matching me up with the perfect girl (if that was even possible) my eagerness melted before my eyes. My pockets weren’t deep enough for the $700 fee of matching me up with my first date!
Mademoiselle Yvette (that’s what I called her) did stay with me and gave me some good advise on how to meet a girl (so now I’m meeting with a shrink or was she doing me a favor since America liberated her country in WWII?), “Zust go to ze places you love to go to,” she said (I could almost hear an accordion playing in the background by a guy named Jean-Pierre), “Do ze sings zat interest you and at zose places, zere might be a gerl vaiting zest for you,” She was right and I might have already met the perfect girl for me.
As I walked out of the door and down the hall, I wasn’t disappointed I had come all the way to Shreveport but hadn’t gotten what I had come for. I did learn a lesson that day though and it wasn’t on how to speak with a French accent. That night I lay in bed and thought to myself like I had in the past. I started thinking about girls and knew that one day; I would meet the woman I loved and would marry her.
Now over 15 years into the future, I am single yet again. Even though I am not currently looking to date (as of August 10, 2011), I have had my experience with dating women since re-acquiring the status of single-hood. All of the women I met through on-line dating sites. When I was married, I used to frown on meeting a woman online like that. However, after becoming single once again, I didn’t see it as such a bad idea.
There were scores, if not hundreds of women waiting for me at the click of my mouse! It was like a vending machine! During the first five months or so after my divorce, I was a paying member of five different dating sites (not all at the same time!). Everyday I’d check all my sites to see if I received a “smile” here or a “wink” there. At one time, I was in contact with eight different women! I considered myself as “testing the waters” or “seeing what was out there” or “making sure I still had it in me”. I knew that I couldn’t start a serious relationship just yet, I just wanted to “date around”. And that’s what I did.
I landed several dates with several women but nothing went beyond the “we’re talking” stage. After going out on my last date in July, I came to a realization. I just couldn’t do it anymore. There wasn’t any real reason that I could put my finger on, I just had that feeling that I couldn’t handle dating anyone at the time.
Even though I am totally ready to move on from my ex-wife, our separation in October 2009 and our divorce in January 2010, I feel that I need to give myself a break away from dating women. I need to develop myself as a single guy once again. Of course, I’m totally confident as a man, I just want to give myself some space until I know that I’m ready for another relationship. And when I am, I will be approach things much differently then I did the last time I was single.
I am now in my mid-thirties, not twenty-one. I have about 13 years of life experience since then. Even though I am the same man, I am a totally different person.